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1) Total number of films I own on DVD/Video.Thirteen, twenty-one including TV series.2) The last film I boughtLook, I can explain. No, really. See, I'd just finished watching Sportsnight after years of only knowing the fic, and was having a full Josh Charles renaissance (And his mouth? It really does do that thing, no, not that thing, although I really like to think he does that thing later.), and I'd already bought Dead Poet's Society, and I was at the DVD store, and there, pimping itself at me from the 'M' section was Threesome. So I bought it. And watched it. And a movie more deliriously, appallingly, jaw-droppingly, pretentiously bad I hope never to see again. Still, I laughed a lot.3) The last film I watchedHitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. It was, um, okay. As someone who knows the radio and BBC tv series so well that when the theme played during the opening credits, I got a little choked up (and we're not going to mention the summer I memorised the first three chapters of the book, either, okay?), it didn't do it for me. Bits were amusing, but Arthur was not Arthur, and the Vogons were almost cute, for fuck's sake, and, yes, well. Just, no.The next film I'm going to see is Kingdom of Heaven, and I will be extremely disappointed if it isn't a hugely self-important historical melodrama with bad CGI castles in the background. These are the movies I live for. After Troy, Alexander and now KoH, I thought Hollywood might have been tapped out on improbable epics, so I was immensely cheered to read that some poor fool has just signed Matt Damon to play Marco Polo. 4) Five films I watch a lot that mean a lot to meEven though I have a yen for bad historical epics, I also rilly rilly like some good ones, such as Master & Commander, one of the few literary adaptations that I love as much as the source material, Dangerous Liasions, because the mindfucks, people, and the exquisite sleaze, and I still cry when Valmont gets skewered. LA Confidential, again for very, very nearly doing justice to the source material, and being a damned good movie in its own right, The Princess Bride, of course, because snarling 'Prepare to die!' under your breath at an annoying co-worker will always be deeply satisfying.5) Tag 5 people and have them put this in their journalBecause I am a big black holes that stop all chain letters, emails and memes in their tracks, there are no tags. Also, everyone else in the known universe, possibly even Arthur and a Vogon or three, has already done this.